Is it just us or do kids just not be listening sometimes?

Here’s some breaking news: adults don’t listen either, they’re just less likely to fully walk away when the conversation isn’t intriguing.

Adults will look you dead in the eye and start mentally reviewing their Instacart order. 

If you reach the 3rd “dang, that’s crazy,” you just need to call it a day. They have no idea what you’ve just told them. Time to head home.

When you think about it, at least toddlers let us know we’re the worst. They don’t make us guess and for that we can be thankful. 

See toddlers (and some adults) don’t have a high capacity for understanding quite yet. That’s why it’s more important than ever that we stay in control of the conversation if we want there to even be a fighting chance that they follow our recommendations.

When you stay in control, your 4 year old (and your prospects) are more likely to listen to you.

Pssst, I know you think the person in control is the person who is talking, but it’s really the other way around.

3 Keys to Communicating with Toddlers that also very much apply to everyone you’ll speak to today:

#1. Mirror what they say back to them

Them: We played with play-dough.

You: You played with PLAY DOUGH?!

Ditch “that’s fun!” which likely would end the conversation. Mirroring what they say back to them gives them the opportunity to go deeper and elaborate. Remember that part about the listener being in control of the conversation? We want people to do allll the talking. Mirroring gets that ball rolling better than almost anything else.

#2. Positive options > negative options

Negative: "Don't kick the seat!"

Positive: “Put your feet DOWN buddy!”

When you write or speak in the negative, you place another hurdle in your child’s (or prospect’s!) way that may keep them from understanding and acting on what you’ve said. The brain has to filter words and work harder than it wants to. Positive language provides the simplest, most straightforward path to our destination. In grown up world this might look like, "don't forget to turn in your report" — and can be adjusted to, "remember that reports are due tomorrow morning.”

#3. Facial expressions

You’re on a nature walk in the backyard with your kids when you see a 6 foot long snake. “STAY FREAKING CALM, DO NOT BE SCARED. WE ARE FINE,” she yells through terrified sobs.

Your facial expressions speak long before you do. Put on confident face. Whether someone falls or fails or there’s snakes or fire - WE are confident. Practice keeping a confident smile to let them know they're safe with you. We’ll panic to the group text later. Flight attendants have mastered this.

Disclaimer: Sometimes they will for sure still shove the marble up their nose no matter how flawless your communication is. They may even look you square in the eye while they do it.

You can head to the urgent care knowing you did your best.

Do you see how sales and parenting aren’t so different after all?

Xo, The Salesgirls