Is there an aisle at the grocery store that you could peruse for hours, uninterrupted?

Mine is the dairy fridge, specifically the coffee creamers. 

This is my favorite right now, but I love a Coconut Creme CoffeeMate, too. I know they have seed oils. Take everything from me, but you’ll have to pry the coffee creamer from my toxin-ridden hands. 

Anyways, I was in the mood to grab a few things that weren’t on my list and then be shocked by the total at checkout. So, I grabbed a bottle of cold brew coffee.

This is what was on the label: 

I could hardly wait to get home and have a glass and reflect on how much money I would save by not going to Starbucks this one time. 

Now I love creamer, but this cold brew promised to be “sweet,” with hazelnut and caramel! I certainly wouldn’t need any additions. 

Right?

I was thinking, “you call this sweet??”

COMPARED TO WHAT???

I had no business using my creamer sweet tooth as a reference point for a glass of black coffee. You have no business using people on your Instagram feed as yours. 

The effects of reference points have been studied on the podium at the Olympics. Researchers have repeatedly found that the bronze medal winners are substantially happier than the silver medal winners. 

Why?

The reference point for the silver medal winner was the gold medal winner, while the reference point for the bronze medal winner was every athlete in their sport that did not medal. 

(To hear more about this, listen as legendary ice skater Michelle Kwan joins Dr. Laurie Santos on the podcast, “The Happiness Lab.”)

A poor reference point can spoil even the sweetest of things. 

That black coffee could have been as naturally sweet as coffee can possibly be, and it would have never lived up to my expectation for it to taste like a caramel latte. 

A good way to avoid the trap of a bad reference point is to make sure you are holding yourself to an appropriately high standard, not a standard based on an unrealistic reference point.

What I’m not saying is not to dream or set big, scary goals. Your goals can and should feel impossible. Rest assured that where someone else is at can inspire you, without acting as your reference point.

Just consider that if your goal was a marathon and you’d only ever run a 5k, you wouldn’t expect to log 26.2 without some extensive training. 

That sounds extreme. You’re probably thinking YA OF COURSE NOT….

Except I’m not convinced that’s the same energy you take into your businesses and everyday life.

Also, because we love you, unfollow anyone you need to on social media.

Xo, The Salesgirls

Today we remember those who sacrificed so we could live in freedom. Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women in the service of our country can never be repaid.

Happy Memorial Day! 🇺🇸