Eyebrows are one of a person’s most prominent and important facial features. The shape of your brows have the power to completely change your face and immediately correct minor facial flaws.

That’s what I was whispering to myself in the car before I walked into my appointment.

(It’s all true though. I read it here.)

I had my eyebrows laminated and tinted yesterday. If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry because I didn’t either. TikTok is a very scary and influential place when you’re over 30.

But basically, it turns our naturally unruly brows into structured, tame face-framers. Then once they’re in their places, they tint them with hair dye.

I love being a woman.

Having lived life as light-featured queen, virtually invisible eyebrows (for better or worse!!!) is what I’m used to. That’s what I’ve seen myself with and even more importantly, that’s what other people are used to seeing me with.

Because I had done extensive research (literally just two 60 second TikTiks, someone delete my account), I knew that these babies were gonna be DARK before they faded after a few days. Big time bold and beautiful (??).

I knew what I was signing up for and I walked in the salon anyways.

I can confirm that what I read was true.

It’s actually a jump scare when I walk past a mirror.

I knew that the secretary at my son’s school was about to ask me who I thought I was.

Cars would surely be distracted by my new eyebrows on the highway.

Would I be arrested?

I was worried my 7 month old would not want me to rock him to sleep.

I’m so serious.

WHO IS THIS BOLD BROWED IMPOSTER AND WHERE IS MY BLONDE BROWED MOTHER WHO HAS NO FACE SHAPE??

Happy to report that none of that happened.

And in the process, I RE-learned one of my very favorite lessons for about the 628487th time:

Nobody is looking at you!!!

I love when I remember that I could do the most unhinged thing anyone has ever seen standing on the side of the road and there’s a reeeeally good chance that no one who drove past me would even bring it up at dinner that night.

We are all out here living life as the main characters in our own stories.

Post the TikTok, go live on Instagram, make the cold call, get bangs*, dye your blonde eyebrows.

Main character energy only this weekend.

Xo, The Salesgirls

*I know you’re gonna slay, AND we are not legally responsible for bang regret. Please consult a professional before taking the next step.