Unpopular opinion: the only thing that can hurt you is your expectations. 

An expectation is a detailed description (most of the time mental) of WHEN, HOW and WHAT.

There is no stronger case for the dangers of expectations than getting bangs. 

I want them so I can look like this. I expect mine to look like hers when I leave the salon. (Despite a different face shape, hair color, hair texture, budget, etc.)

The clearer the picture you have of what it’s supposed to be like, the harder it becomes to get there. The more attachment you have to the HOW and WHEN, the longer it takes. 

The fact of the matter is: expectations are often only attainable with the help or compliance of others. 

I don’t know how to tell you this but we only have control over ourselves. And if your expectation involves the compliance of kids or hair….. FORGET IT!!!

Expectations set you up for disappointment and resentment.

• You expected to hit $10 million in your 5th year of business, but when you don’t, you feel like everything is going wrong.

• You expected to be married at 30, but you aren’t, so you feel deeply discouraged and behind.

• You expected to get that job, but you didn’t, and now you feel like a total failure.

• You expected a fun, family day, but the kids went feral, and now everyone’s miserable.

• You expected motherhood to come pretty easy, but it’s not, and you’re in over your head and feel like you don’t know what you’re doing.

(Hey, none of us know what we’re doing if that makes you feel any better.)

My life changed when I realized that expectations were the villain. 

So I stopped having expectations, and I started setting intentions. 

Setting an intention and letting go of any attachment to a specific outcome, allows us to control where we put our energy.

Intentions set you up for empowerment and fulfillment.

• You are working with the intention of becoming the kind of woman who runs a $10 million dollar business, and it takes how long it takes.

• While navigating single life, you set the intention of gaining all the life experiences that you possibly can and never could have without this time to yourself.

• You go into those interviews with the intention of getting experience so that you’re not as nervous next time around.

• You approach the family day knowing that kids are kids, and no matter if you make it 10 minutes or 2 hours at the park, this will be a memory and time spent together.

• While settling into motherhood, you set the intention to view each day as a challenge that is making you better in every other area of your life. 

You can (and should!) absolutely envision YOUR best case scenario.

You get the job, you arrive early, your kids eat the lunch you packed, you meet your soulmate, your baby sleeps…

Just don’t passively expect it.

The second half of your life begins when you start living purposefully and detaching yourself from the outcomes. 

Xo, The Salesgirls

Ps. 2024 is being called The Year of the (big) Bang and they are IN. As long as you don’t expect to look exactly like Halle Berry when you leave the salon, this is your green light.