Fighting the Comparison Trap as a Female Writer

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Lately I’ve felt a deep insecurity about how I don’t have a publicly successful career to post about on social media. 

It feels silly to even type those words and I just know our Founding Fathers would have no idea what that sentence even means, but it’s my honest truth. 

I don’t host a podcast. I don’t sell out arenas. I’m not a popular influencer. I don’t have a book published. I’m not getting invited to brand events. I don’t make viral videos. I’m not a public speaker. I’m not writing articles for well-known publications. I’m not earning awards for my writing.

Do I want to be doing any of those things? If I’m really honest with myself, I’m not sure the answer would even be a resounding yes. 

But we’re in this moment in time where it seems as though every woman is thriving in their careers and I feel like I have nothing to show for mine. Which I know deep down isn’t true, but it’s how stupid social media makes me feel. 

And then I remember this quote, 

“Their success is not your failure.” 

I wish I could give credit to whoever said those words because boy do they hit home when I’m spiraling into the comparison trap. 

When I’m not spiraling, I feel confident that my own definition of success is making enough money to provide for myself. And that achievement is just as honorable as being known for the work I do.

For me, success is 

having a career doing something I genuinely love. 

providing for myself financially with no help from a man. 

having autonomy over how I spend my time. 

not being trapped climbing a corporate ladder. 

not a corner office, it’s a chair in the comfort of my own bedroom.

getting paid what I’m worth. 

building a career I’m proud of. 

The shiny achievements of others don’t take away from my own quiet pursuit of being a writer.

I don’t know who else needed to hear this, but I know I did. 

Say it with me now –  THEIR SUCCESS IS NOT MY FAILURE.

-Nicole