Overthinking, Apologizing, and Other Female Pastimes

In partnership with

This Spring, Grow with the Help of a Therapist

Your mental wellness deserves to bloom. For Mental Health Awareness Month, BetterHelp is offering your first week of therapy free, no strings attached. Whether you’re facing stress, burnout, or relationship challenges, therapy can help you grow through what you’re going through.

You’ll be matched in under 24 hours, and you can message, chat, or video call your therapist anytime, anywhere. 94% of users report improvement, and 80% see symptom relief within just a few sessions.

It’s time to invest in yourself: try therapy with no risk today.

Try for 7 Days

The other day I overthought a situation so much that I apologized for being funny.

For context – I sent a message to a project manager about a project update and it had a little bit of that classic NB wit.

The good news is that they seemed to catch my drift and pick up on the humor of my words with no offense taken.   

So tell me why I spent the rest of the day spiraling about how they probably did take offense and it actually wasn’t funny and I should’ve never risked inserting my humor into a professional setting like that?

I ended up reaching out and apologizing for my tone. Their reply?

“Oh, no worries at all Nicole, I didn’t think anything of it!”

It should also be noted that this person was a man, so of course he didn’t overthink it.

I’m not sure a man has ever gotten off a call or sent a message and thought to himself

Oh no I was too direct. 

I should’ve softened my tone. 

I should apologize for being too light-hearted. 

I should’ve ended that sentence with an exclamation point instead of a period. 

If they can get away with using “👍” as an acceptable professional email response then surely I can afford to be my witty self in a silly Teams chat. 

God forbid I show a little personality to my clients?

Since I run this business by myself, I also have to try really hard not to fork it up on my own. Everything I do and say falls back on me, so if I miss the mark or cross the line it is me representing me out here.  

But after seeing his reply about it being no big deal, it was an important reminder that I’m allowed to take up space with my personality. I don’t need to apologize or overthink it because no one else is either. 

9 times out of 10 adding my spark of humor is appreciated and accepted. 

As women in business, we do ourselves a disservice when we shrink our personalities to be accepted as the nice one or the quiet one, the person in the room who won’t cause any disruptions or come off as too much. 

But I want to bring myself into every room I walk in so that means you’re going to be met with a little wit or a splash of humor. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT. 

Xo, The Salesgirls