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25% of women would rather give themselves an electric shock than do this one thing…

Any guesses? 

It’s not blow dry our hair - I assume that percentage would be much, much higher. 

Researchers at the University of Virginia found that 25% of women preferred to give themselves electric shocks rather than sit alone in silence, in a bare laboratory room for 15 minutes.

(67% of men prefer electric shocks to silence which explains a lot. I am laughing.)

I’m here to remind you that silence is not a problem that needs fixing. 

It’s become a societal expectation that we must avoid… AT ALL COSTS… the dreaded “uncomfortable silence.” 

Except it’s literally not uncomfortable we’ve just trained ourselves to believe that it is.

We force ourselves to talk, even when we have nothing to say. And people trying to fill silence unnecessarily is where most communication infractions happen. 

(Infractions like overstepping, insulting, oversharing… they’re almost always unintentional which is the REAL scary thing.)

Frankly, any of these turn out a lot more awkward than a little silence. 

You can rest assured knowing that very few situations are made better by saying MORE. 

Of course there will always be exceptions to everything, so if you feel VERY compelled to fill a silence, be intentional about it by trying these 3 things:

#1. Compliments 

Giving someone a compliment is always a welcome way to start, continue or end an interaction. We always want to err on the side of making others feel good about themselves and genuine compliments are a sure fire way to do that. 

#2. Relevant conversation starters

Did you see their Instagram post about a recent trip to London? Tell them so and ask how it was! What was their favorite part? How did the kids adjust to the time change? Allowing them to talk about themselves is a win/win: no silence and they leave feeling seen and heard.

#3. Small Talk 

If you don’t know anything about the person and are dead set on speaking, make an observation or objective statement… this is what we (not so) lovingly call small talk. Talking about how much rain we have or haven’t been getting isn’t always ideal, but it is safe and there’s something to be said for that.

Embrace silence, break silence, but at the very least, don’t fear silence.

Also consider forwarding this message to a man - I think they need us.

Xo, The Salesgirls