You're confused about confusion

We teach you not to make overstatments, so this isn't one: Our lives changed the minute we stopped being confused. 

WAIT, before you close this tab because I don’t understand your life and I’m not surrounded by idiots like you are and I must have the luxury of choosing to not be confused but you DON’T GET TO CHOOSE. YOU DID NOT PICK THIS. EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE IS JUST VERY CONFUSING.

Okayyyyyy, I hear you queen. Let’s just talk about it.
Did you know that CONFUSION is what’s called an indulgent emotion? 
Indulgent is defined as: allowing yourself to enjoy the pleasure of.

That would mean I’m suggesting that you enjoyyyyyy being confused????? That can’t be true.

Could it? 👀👀👀

Honestly, this isn’t even an attack on you. It’s human nature. It feels really good to say you’re confused. Because that means we can’t do anything about it. 

I too love being a lil' helpless every now and then. A day of doing nothing? I'm in.

But here I am trying to think of a story to tell you guys about the last time I was confused and I don't have one. I’ve been committed to not being confused for so long, that I genuinely don’t remember the last time I was confused. So if this mindset hack isn’t magic, it’s close.

Here’s a totally made-up situation that could easily be a true story: 

You leave a meeting with your team about a new project that’s kicking off next week. What the actual HECK. This is so different than anything we’ve ever done before and literally why? If there’s a point, I don’t see it. This is going to put so much more work on my plate and I don’t even know where to start. I’m confused. does nothing

Same scenario but different: 

You’re in that same meeting about the new project that’s kicking off next week. To be perfectly honest, you aren’t sure what the HECK happened to bring on this big change so you… wait for it… ask. “This is all so exciting. Could you share any background on what led to this change so that I can understand really well?” OHHHH OKAY. Not the best answer I’ve ever heard, but now I know. “Do you guys mind if we quickly look through what the next steps are and who is responsible for doing what by when?” Perfect. *goes back to your desk and starts working*

If anything, your peers might be annoyed that you asked for so much clarity that now THEY can’t even be confused in good conscience. What a drag. 

See, deciding you are not a person who stays confused does NOT mean that everything will always be crystal clear on the first try or that you’ll be forced to suffer in silence if it’s not.

The most effective way to avoid confusion is by taking action and gaining clarity. 

Next time you’re tempted to be confused, try these 4 things:

ASK CLARIFYING QUESTIONS 

Example: What makes you say that?

ASK THEM TO SAY THAT IN A DIFFERENT WAY

Example: Could you say that again in a different way?

REPEAT THE THOUGHT BACK TO THEM TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE HEARING IT CORRECTLY

Example: What I’m hearing is… does that sound right?

KEEP A FIGURE-IT-OUT MINDSET

Example: I may not get it yet, but I will.

Psssst, worry is an indulgent emotion too. You know what to do.

Xo, The Salesgirls